A Guide to Grief

Everyone grieves, mourns, and copes with end of life issues in various ways. The terms grief, bereavement, and mourning are often used in place of each other, but they have different meanings.

Grief is the common process of dealing with a loss.

Bereavement is the period after a loss during which grief is experienced and mourning occurs. The time spent in a period of bereavement depends on how attached the person was to the person who died, and how much time was spent anticipating the loss.

Mourning is the process by which people adapt to a loss. Mourning is also influenced by cultural customs, rituals, and society’s rules for coping with loss.

Phases of Grief

The process of bereavement may be described as having four phases:

1. Shock and numbness: Family members find it difficult to believe the death; they feel stunned and numb.

2. Yearning and searching: Survivors experience separation anxiety and cannot accept the reality of the loss. They try to find and bring back the lost person and feel ongoing frustration and disappointment when this is not possible.

3. Disorganization and despair: Family members feel depressed and find it difficult to plan for the future. They are easily distracted and have difficulty concentrating and focusing.

4. Reorganization.

The goals of grief counseling include:

* Helping the bereaved to accept the loss by helping him or her to talk about the loss.

* Helping the bereaved to identify and express feelings related to the loss (for example, anger, guilt, anxiety, helplessness, and sadness).

* Helping the bereaved to live without the person who died and to make decisions alone.

* Helping the bereaved to separate emotionally from the person who died and to begin new relationships.

* Providing support and time to focus on grieving at important times such as birthdays and anniversaries.

* Describing normal grieving and the differences in grieving among individuals.

* Providing continuous support.

* Helping the bereaved to understand his or her methods of coping.

* Identifying coping problems the bereaved may have and making recommendations for professional grief therapy.

Reference:
Hospice. (2011). A guide to grief bereavement, mourning, and grief. Retrieved from http://www.hospicenet.org/index.html.